This second-division Dutch soccer brawl is peak human stupidity

March 5, 2018

Listen, we all want to see our team win. That's kind of the point of sports. But there comes a time in every fan's life where you have to step back and exercise some perspective, such as "get it together man, you didn't cry this much at dad's funeral" or "hey, my team is in the second of division of a Dutch soccer league that exists primarily to sell its best players to the fourth best team in England, maybe it's not worth a felony assault charge." If that seems oddly specific, that's because it is:

Following a 4-0 drubbing at the hands of De Graafschap on Sunday, a small group of Go Ahead Eagles supporters with wet toilet paper for brains stormed the field to attack opposing players and security guards, turning in one of the most embarrassing displays of fandom east of The Linc in the process. And while it's difficult (and probably unnecessary) to drill down past the 30,000-foot stupidity, here are a couple of points of consideration for your viewing pleasure:

  • Go Ahead Eagles, next to BSC Young Boys, has to be the best club name in continental Europe.

  • At :07, a De Graafschap player "accidentally" dropkicks his own teammate in the chest. Something tells me one is dating the other's ex.

  • Oh my god, look at this little weasel at :28 with the chicken legs and his sweater pulled up over his face. Dude, go home, fire up Overwatch, and leave society alone.

  • There is no way in frozen, flying-pig-packed hell these security guards are paid enough.

  • LOL look at all the tough guys in the crowd yelling whatever the Dutch equivalent of "you're lucky this steel and glass divider is here" through a steel and glass divider. Here's hoping no woman is dumb enough to procreate with any of these f—king idiots.

H/T Deadspin.