The Golden Knights' playoff pregame show was the most ridiculously Vegas thing ever

It's official. Las Vegas is a hockey town now. Someone tell the Raiders to turn around and head back to Oakland. Sin City don't need 'em. Little more than a day after we showed you the 120-pound chocolate sculpture of Marc-Andre Fleury currently butterflying in the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel & Casino, the Golden Knights dropped the puck on their first-ever playoff appearance. And while they went on to beat the Kings 1-0, the true highlight of the night belonged to Knights' entertainment department—clearly poached from the nearest Ren Fair/LarpCon—who put together a pregame performance that made Siegfried & Roy look like Simon & Garfunkel.

While your bewildered eyeholes digest all of that, let's recap. Things start off mellow with a mystic fire sword duel to the death...

...and then, HARK, out of the mists of time, a weary traveler emerges, just as the prophecy foretold!

With him, rides the, umm, cast of Drumline 2049...

also Jeremy Roenick and—wait—is that Blue Man Group? (Ed. Note: Sure is)

Who have all gathered here, at Castle T-Mobile, to cast off the yolk of Eastern Conference hockey bias and CLAIM THEIR BIRTHRIGHT...WHICH IS FREEDOMMMMMM!

So yeah, welcome to Vegas, hockey fans—you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.