Way back in December, we introduced you to Chad and JT, two 21st-century patriots who vent viral for their opposition to a new Los Angeles city council initiative to crack down on house parties in the Hollywood Hills. Exercising their right as American citizens and relying on experienced gained during a recent campaign to erect a Paul Walker (RIP) statue on the San Clemente pier, the pair—clad in "Bacon" beanies and Hawaiian shirts with ties—became instant heroes, racking up over half-a-million views on YouTube and logging appearances on major "news" networks like Fox "News" in the process.
Unfortunately, their righteous pleas went unheeded, and last week the LA City council passed its proposed house party ban like the dickhead principal in some John Hughes movie. Never ones to back down from a fight, however, on Tuesday Chad and JT returned to court to express their disappointment and disillusionment with the American political machine. Two minutes of pure liquid gold ensued:
The LA CIty Coucil has yet to return our calls requesting transcripts of this exchange to frame and hang on every vertical surface of our office, but don't worry, we went ahead and gathered a few non-volume-dependent highlights anyway. Enjoy:
"My name is Chad Kroeger." 9,000 percent sure that's the Nicklelback guy and 10,000 percent sure this is not a coincidence.
"If there's anything the 2003 Pipe Masters showdown between Andy Irons and Kelly Slater taught me, it's that you must be gracious in defeat but persistent in the fight." Braveheart has nothing on this sh*t.
Pronounces "laborious" as "lay-borious, because when in doubt, make it sound French.
Chad's mic is cut in the middle of a Brian McKnight quote following a story about reuniting with his first love Ashley over Four Lokos and Petey Pablo at Brady McKinnon's Flag Day bash.
JT expresses regret that he will never again get to skinny dip in strangers pools, which isn't exactly where we'd go with a pro-house-party argument, but you do you, bro.
"I don't want to clown on democracy." Lol, tell that to the White House, kid.
Kickbacks, mixers, and soirees still going down every week at
Stifler'sJT's mom's house. Bring chicks.
The council is also invited, especially you, Herb, who looks like he's cleared "beer bongs" and "shagged bulls" (hopefully not literally).
So uhh yeah, quick question: Is it too early to start talking about a Chad/JT ticket in 2020 and, if not, where can we donate?