Fight Night
July 31, 2019

The best part of the Reds vs. Pirates fight were the fights that didn't happen amid all the chaos

By now you've seen the epic brawl between the Cincinnati Reds and the Pittsburgh Pirates, and if you haven't, well, you're probably over the age of 60 and don't know how to Internet (shoutout to my 50-59-year-old crew; I believe in your iPad skills).

Even if you have seen it, it's absolutely worth another watch, at least the beginning, when Reds relief pitcher Amir Garrett loses his shit and attacks the entire Pirates organization. Garrett, a former St. John's University basketball player, has clearly been in a scuffle or two in his life, because he had absolutely zero fear as he ran straight toward a sea of black jerseys that immediately swarmed around him:

Love this tweet by FOX Sports Ohio, by the way: "The benches have cleared." Oh, gee, is that all that happened? A "bench clearing" is a snooze fest that involves a lot of hold-me-backing and shit-talking from guys who have no intention of actually throwing down. Garrett said the hell with that and threw down, causing the benches to clear, which also led to a mini scuffle between Pirates manager Clint Hurdle and Reds manager David Bell. That, plus plenty more pushing and shoving, made this an actual "brawl."

But it was the fights that didn't break out that were the most fascinating part of the whole fracas. Depending on how you look at it, that could be a good or a bad thing. I would have loved to see more action, a full-on Malice at the Palace situation (minus any fans; fans should not be involved). Can you imagine if Yasiel Puig, who was traded to the Cleveland Indians before this happened (!), actually threw a punch at Pirates pitcher Kyle Crick here?

Screen Shot 2019-07-31 at 9.14.34 AM.png

Wouldn't be the first time Puig incited a second brawl mid-brawl...against the Pirates. Or how about if Chris Archer and Sonny Gray, Sonny Gray, of all people, decided to actually get physical?

Screen Shot 2019-07-31 at 9.02.23 AM.png

This is the same Sonny Gray who stands at 5-foot-10, weighs 180 pounds and "didn't have the makeup for New York." Look at him puffing his chest out and getting in the middle of things. Looks like he was mostly playing peacemaker, but maybe he has a little pitbull in him. I doubt it, but we'll never really know. As for Archer, he's lucky Gray didn't throw in a sucker punch or two, because he already got messed up in the original brawl. You can see some of that in another A+ breakdown from rising social-media star Jomboy, who broke down the whole brawl and everything that led up to it in this masterpiece: