NBA Merch

The 15 most ridiculous things you can buy from the NBA Store

October 17, 2017
NBA Store items.

As another exciting season of Warriors exhibition basketball NBA action tips off, the time has come to wear your fandom, quite literally, on your sleeve. Thanks to the NBA Store’s infinitely hilarious treasure trove of hardcourt trinkets, however, intrepid ballers can now proudly brandish it on their face, ass, cuticles, wrists, and Christmas trees as well. So without further ado—because we have some actual games to get to—The Loop is pleased to present the 15 most ridiculous NBA Store finds on earth. Happy hunting, superfans.

Lakers Nutcracker

Perfect for busting Jim Buss’s balls.

Kristaps Porzingis Lego Puzzle

Good luck ever sleeping again, children of the Tri State.

Dunks! 2 DVD


An $800 Dollar Watch

FUN FACT: This Cavaliers 2016 championship chronograph is worth more than the city of Cleveland.

Chicago Bulls Thong

AKA the only exciting thing about Chicago Bulls basketball this season.

Golden State Warriors Baby Bib

Gotta start ‘em that when you inevitably stop rooting for the Warriors in a year and a half, your child will be doomed to suffer three decades of basketball futility out of some misguided sense of duty.

Golden State Warriors Temporary Face Tattoo

It washes off. Perfect for bandwagon fans!

Minnesota Timberwolves Nail Polish

When Jimmy Butler goes down with an achilles injury before November, you can also drink this and pray for sweet release.

Philadelphia 76ers Fidget Spinner

Because 30 wins is just a spin away. #TrustTheProcess

Whatever The Hell This Is

And you thought Porzingis was scary…

Cleveland Cavaliers Guy Fieri Visor

Rollin’ out on a new episode of Diner, Drive-Ins, and Flops!

Lakers Pumpkin Carving Kit

Perfect for carving Jack Nicholson o’ lanterns. Thank you, thank you. We’re here all week.

Spurs USB Charger

Not compatible with Manu Ginobili’s aging corpse.

This Knicks Picture Frame

Ahh, the memories.

Homicidal Celtics Monkey Doll

No really, WTF.


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