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The Loop

What The ... ?

This question posed to Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian is almost too insane to be real

November 16, 2021

For what feels like the 100th straight season, the sky around the Texas football program is falling. It's never fallen quite like this, though, which is a sly way of saying that the Longhorns just lost to Kansas... at home

That L brought first-year Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian's record to 4-6, putting the Longhorns in serious danger of missing a bowl game, something that hasn't happened since 2016 (the Charlie Strong era). After starting the year 4-1, they've dropped five in a row, a streak that began with the brutal loss to hated-rival Oklahoma, who Texas was leading 28-7 after the first quarter and 41-23 with 2:45 left in the third quarter (they lost 55-48). 

One can only imagine the behind-the-scenes chaos in Austin, where year after year the Longhorns are declared "BACK!" before promptly embarrassing themselves in spectacular fashion. The Kansas loss is just the latest version of one of the program's infamous recent failures, and it had one reporter doing some serious introspection during Sarkisian's Monday press conference. Please watch all 52 seconds of this absolutely absurd video, which is almost too insane to be real:

What in the absolute F&%$ was that? It is, apparently, 1 million percent real, and it is spectacular. It's also perhaps Sarkisian's finest moment as Texas head coach. The fact he kept his composure here and didn't burst into laughter and/or crack in any way should make Longhorns fans somewhat optimistic about the future. If Sark can stand at the podium and answer a question like that, he'll have no problem getting the team through this early rough patch of the SARK ERA, of which the story is still being written, and one hell of a story it's going to be, though we're only in the first chapter, but it's already a real page-turner and once we unfold the onion, it's go--

Sorry, I blacked out. What the hell were we talking about again?