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Colonial Country Club

Deja Vu

There was an unbelievable glitch in the sports matrix on Monday

August 30, 2022

In the immortal words of Friedrich Nietzsche (by way of Rust Cohle), time is a flat circle. All things are doomed, or blessed, to repeat themselves if you just hang around long enough. This includes life, death, political movements, artistic trends, and, of course, sports.

Look no further than August 29th, 2022 for proof. On Monday, Serena Williams won a match at what is to be her final U.S. Open, Albert Pujols launched the 694th home run of his career, and famous MLB offspring Vlad Guerrero Jr., Cavan Biggio, and Bo Bichette all recorded a hit in the big leagues. All of that came exactly 21 years to the day after Serena Williams won a match at the U.S. Open, Albert Pujols hit a home run, and Vlad Guerrero, Craig Biggio, and Dante Bichette all recorded a hit in the big leagues. No, we’re not making this up.

If you’ve ever wondered if we are, in fact, living in a simulation, this pretty much confirms it. The game designers were apparently on vacation on Monday—August, amirite?—and decided to air a 21-year-old rerun. But they underestimated the depths of their pawns’ sports nerdery, who quickly sussed out the ruse with a little help from Sports Almanac.

It’s possible there’s no cosmic conspiracy afoot, of course. Maybe this is just a testament to the longevity of Williams and Pujols, two of the greatest to ever do it in their respective sports, as well as the power of the almighty gene pool. Or maybe it's proof of our artificial existence. We may never know the truth, but we will never stop searching.