Cognizant Classic in The Palm Beaches

PGA National (Champion Course)

The Loop

PGA Championship 2017: Overheard in the gallery from Quail Hollow

CHARLOTTE— Combine the Carolina sun, gallons of booze and huge galleries at Quail Hollow Club, and you'll get a mix of Southern dialects, funny-and-mundane golf tales, but most hilariously -- depending on your sense of humor -- some really random crap.

Being a fly on the wall has its entertainment value. As long as you're not easily offended. Here are some of our favorite things overheard through the first two days at the PGA Championship.

--Guy to his buddy walking down the first fairway: "How many girls you think I would creep out if I just repeatedly winked at all of them."

His buddy: Umm, all of them, bro."

--College-aged girl to her father: "This is actually better than watching a NASCAR race. You get to see the face of the guy as he's struggling. It's even better than a crash."

--After Sergio hits into the water on the 16th hole on Thursday, guy to his group of friends: "Welcome to the Green Mile, Sergio. This ain't no cupcake Amen Corner."

--Older gentleman to his friends: "With Bermuda greens, what you should really chart is the grain. I'd draw a big circle on the green and chart which way the grain is growing."

One friend: "You've never caddied in your life."

His son: "Go stake out Phil's car. I heard he needs a caddie."

--Overheard, passing a group of college-aged kids: "...A courtesy wheelchair? Dead ass, I asked for one of those at a Las Vegas casino one time..."

--In the ninth fairway: "DJ, we still going to IHOP?"

--Overheard, passing a group of three couples walking together: "...So we were at their engagement party, and he was just completely hammered drunk. It was kind of all downhill from there..."

--Guy to his group of friends: "I don't think I'd want a caddie. I wouldn't want anyone telling me what I could and couldn't do with my clubs."

--Middle-aged girl to her friends: "That guy's fun. He brought us all on his yacht this one time. He's not really cute, but there was a lot of alcohol. That's all that mattered."

--Woman to her husband, watching Spieth bogey the 10th hole: "Spieth's just a little kid, look at him. I just feel bad for him." Her husband: "He's a millionaire, sweetie. And he's 24. You don't have to feel bad."

--After watching John Daly and Vijay Singh walk past them: "See, that's cool man. That's what makes golf so great. Even old guys can still do cool s***."

Vijay Singh John Daly PGA Champ

Warren Little