There’s this idea that a bird pooping on your head is good luck.
Picture this: You’re walking home, perhaps from a food market or an exhilarating workout at your local gym, feeling good about life, and then out of nowhere an animal flying high above you uses the top of your head as a dumping ground. This has happened to me three times, and not once did I feel “lucky” or “joyful” or “delighted.” I felt like I had feces in my hair, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. You try to pretend that others don’t see, but they do. And if they don’t see it, they smell it. It’s embarrassing.
This brings us to the Baltimore Orioles.
There’s no better video to encapsulate Baltimore’s woeful season than what happened to outfielder DJ Stewart while trying to catch a fly ball in the fourth inning of Tuesday’s 9-4 loss to the New York Yankees.
Sliding for the ball, Stewart hits the ground early with his glove high in the air. I’m not sure if it felt like this in-stadium, but it then seems as if time itself slows down to give Wilson the ability to see just how badly he misjudged the ball’s trajectory. His head bounces up and down, and then, fittingly, the ball does the same off of his head. Stewart was checked after the third out for a concussion and was replaced in the lineup for the rest of the game. This was one of many outfield blunders of the game for the Orioles and just a microcosm of the season.
At the moment, Baltimore has a record of 38-75 with a two-game losing streak against the Yankees, a fellow AL East competitor. The two teams finish the three-game series tonight.
Hopefully the local Baltimore birds don’t decide to take in the sights at Camden Yards tonight, because if they do (with the way the Orioles’ luck is going), the sh**ty play might be literal.