On Thursday afternoon, at long last, Bryce Harper finally signed the mega-deal he had been seeking all off-season. After much speculation throughout the winter, the Philadelphia Phillies ended up locking up the star outfielder for the next 13 years, with $330 million guaranteed, the most in sports history. Not bad!
While the Phillies seemed to be in the driver’s seat for some time, rumors naturally began to swirl with each passing day. The longer Harper went unsigned, the more that was bound to happen, as teams like the San Francisco Giants and Chicago Cubs were suddenly in the mix. It reached a point where the Phillies were not only no longer the favorite to land the slugger, but they were out on him entirely.
That prompted a fiery take that would have taken all the water on the earth to put out from Philadelphia sports radio personality Angelo Cataldi, who went full scorched earth on Harper on Thursday morning. Feast your eyes on this beauty:
Before we get to the good stuff, you’ve got to respect the “here’s my latest take” move. At least he prepared us all for what we were about to see, which started with arguably the least self-aware statement in the history of sports - “he had a chance to play in sports heaven.” Nothing SCREAMS sports heaven like Philadelphia, where they are currently running their Super Bowl MVP QB out of town and where they run through NHL goalies like M&Ms. These folks wanted Doug Pederson OUT in year one, too. You think they are going to pat Bryce Harper on the head and tell him it’s all going to be OK when he’s mired in an 2-for-25, 14 strikeout slump? I’m going to lean no.
Next up, we have “now he can go to hell.” Peak Philly right there. Sports heaven, am I right! “When he returns to Philly as an opponent he will receiver our full wrath with a boo like nothing he has ever heard. Believe it.” Oh, no, THE HORROR! Please, don’t boo him sir, please! Good to see they’ve moved on from tossing batteries at guys they hate though. So there’s that.
Angelo’s tweet was of course before the signing. Let’s check in on our man now:
This is the Philly sports experience right here, and believe it or not, it kind of does prove his point in his original tweet. Do well and you will be a God in Philly forever (sports heaven), don’t do well and they’ll tell you to go F--- yourself and die (sports hell). No in between. A passionate bunch, to say the least.