Madness
The PGA Tour equivalent of all 64 March Madness teams, with absolutely no explanation
Ben Solomon
What follows is a list of every March Madness team in the field of 64 (we don't mess with play-in nonsense), along with the team's PGA Tour equivalent. This is extremely scientific, with dozens of complex formulas running simultaneously on Golf Digest's eight-story supercomputer, all to pinpoint the exact parallel. Anyone who says this is just from the gut, and written in like 12 minutes based on the first association that came to our heads? Lying to you. Still, we refuse to explain any of it. Just know that each entry is correct.
Here we go:
1-seeds
Gonzaga: Xander Schauffele
Baylor: Patrick Reed
Arizona: Jon Rahm
Kansas: Henrik Stenson
2-seeds
Duke: Collin Morikawa
Kentucky: Phil Mickelson
Villanova: Brooks Koepka
Auburn: Patrick Cantlay
3-seeds
Texas Tech: Hideki Matsuyama
Purdue: Rickie Fowler
Tennessee: Viktor Hovland
Wisconsin: Bo Hoag
4-seeds
Arkansas: Sergio Garcia
UCLA: Tiger Woods
Illinois: Stewart Cink
Providence: Talor Gooch
5-seeds
Connecticut: Rory McIlroy
Saint Mary's: Louis Oosthuizen
Houston: Padraig Harrington
Iowa: Matt Fitzpatrick
6-seeds
Alabama: Gary Woodland
Texas: Paul Casey
Colorado State: Max Homa
LSU: Kevin Kisner
7-seeds
Michigan State: Rory McIlroy
Murray State: Harold Varner III
Ohio State: Gary Woodland
USC: Jordan Spieth
8-seeds
Boise State: Cameron Smith
North Carolina: Dustin Johnson
Seton Hall: Keegan Bradley
San Diego State: Erik van Rooyen
9-seeds
Memphis: Justin Thomas
Marquette: Joaquin Niemann
TCU: Matthew Wolff
Creighton: Webb Simpson
10-seeds
Davidson: Jason Kokrak
San Francisco: Chesson Hadley
Loyola-Chicago: Ian Poulter
Miami: Cameron Tringale
11-seeds
Notre Dame: Adam Scott
Virginia Tech: Scottie Scheffler
Michigan: Jason Day
Iowa State: Francesco Molinari
12-seeds
New Mexico State: Harold Varner III
Indiana: Justin Rose
UAB: Jason Kokrak
Richmond: Garrick Higgo
13-seeds
Vermont: Lanto Griffin
Akron: Rory Sabbatini
Chattanooga: Billy Horschel
South Dakota State: Sungjae Im
14-seeds
Montana State: Daniel Berger
Yale: Lee Westwood
Longwood: Cameron Champ
Colgate: Brandt Snedeker
15-seeds
Cal-State Fullerton: Pat Perez
St. Peter's: Zach Johnson
Delaware: Dylan Frittelli
Jacksonville State: Beau Hossler
16-seeds
Georgia State: Brendon Todd
Norfolk State: Abraham Ancer
Wright State: Bubba Watson
Texas Southern: Tyrrell Hatton
PS: For what it's worth, Virginia would have been Tony Finau.