By now you’ve probably already heard about the One Chip Challenge, a self-flagellating viral stunt in which one consumes an individually packaged Paqui Carolina Reaper chip (by all accounts the spiciest snack in the cosmos), posts their reaction video online, and hopes that A. the ensuing bowel movement doesn’t kill them and B. that their suffering is entertaining enough to win a year-supply of Paqui chips.
Following a Denver news anchor puking on live TV, the entire Steelers team sobbing like they just watched Brian’s Song, and the rapid inflation of single Carolina Reaper packages on eBay to something like $67.99, the brain-trust over at Mike & Mike—apparently desperate for ratings entering their final week of existence—decided to get in on the, err, hottest trend in American stupidity this morning. Here’s how it all went down:
Committing to his long-running “delicate boi” schtick, Greenberg predictably demurs, while Golic, who has spent every morning for 17+ years essentially calling Greenberg a pussy, takes a big ol’ chomp and immediately looks like he might kick the vom bucket. Golic Jr.—dressed like a contractor you don’t want around your teenage daughter—and Trey Wingo—who attempts to walk-it-off with a red-faced mic-drop—don’t fare much better.
Then there’s Damien Woody—by most accounts, a VERY large man. Now, Shaq already proved that size does not matter to the Carolina Reaper chip, but Woody sucks down the edible welding torch like a Cheez-It and then looks around at Golic’s crumbs like “hey, you gonna finish those?” This is a straight-up, no-chaser MVP-level performance from the Big Man, and while we’re certain that free year of chips is going to some cute kid or Daisy Duked FSU co-ed, let us be the first to say it anyway:
Congrats Damien, you f—king win, even if you don’t.