This one type of thought is costing you strokes every round

It’s completely normal to feel a host of uncomfortable feelings during a round of golf. Nerves on the first tee. Doubt over whether or not you can keep the ball in play with OB stakes leering to your right. Stress over a short putt you know you should make but fear you might miss.

Feeling these emotions is not a bad thing, says Dr. Carly Hunt, a former Division I college golfer who is now a sport psychologist. There is, however, an issue with the thought that comes next. The thought that, "If I’m feeling this nervous, this much doubt, then there’s no way I can play well."

That type of thought is creating more negative thinking, increasing tension, and costing you strokes on the golf course.

“Instead of fearing nerves and other unwanted feelings and thoughts, get comfortable with discomfort and the unexpected as opposed to needing calm and unwavering confidence,” Hunt says.

If you need to feel total confidence over every shot, you’re setting yourself up for a tough round. There are going to be shots that you don’t like the look of; there are going to be situations that feel really uncomfortable. But Hunt is saying that those feelings are allowed on the golf course.

“This idea comes from acceptance and commitment therapy, which is a newer school of thinking relative to traditional psychological skills training,” Hunt explains.

Acceptance and commitment therapy doesn’t want you to try to squash every bad feeling. Instead, allow that bad thought or feeling to exist, but don’t hold on to it so tightly that it becomes the only thing you’re thinking about.

Rather, Hunt recommends a few strategies for handling these nervous feelings:

“The next time nerves spike, stand tall, bring a slight smile or calm expression to your face, look up and around, and tell yourself, 'I can hit the ball near the target even when I’m nervous. Feelings don’t hit the golf ball—I do.' Remind yourself that although you want to feel confident in these moments, what you really want is competence. If you felt comfortable and calm all day but shot 20 strokes over your average, you would not be satisfied,” Dr. Hunt says.

You can also put a positive twist on having nerves, instead of worrying they’ll ruin your round.

Hunt says to tell yourself: “Nerves mean my body is getting ready to play the sport I love. I might not love how they feel, but they’re an admission ticket to the thrill of competition. Let’s go.” Then proceed with your pre-shot routine. Visualize the shot and execute. In contrast with, “I need to calm down. If it don’t, my timing will be off and I’ll probably snap hook it OB.” Says Hunt: "When you fixate on calming down, you’re distracted from what you need to do, which is to hit the shot.”

Instead of letting nerves or other negative feelings lead to more negative thoughts, give yourself the opportunity to accept uncomfortable feelings as a normal part of the round. By not letting negative feelings compound, you’re going to save yourself shots.

“You can change your relationship with the discomfort,” Hunt says. “The idea that you don’t have to rid yourself of discomfort can be freeing.”