Mind Your Manners

Imagining Masters Champions Dinner table etiquette

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Illustration by Michael Byers

Dinner table etiquette can be a fraught topic even on a normal night, but it takes on added importance the Tuesday before the Masters. That's when past green jacket winners gather to break bread, putting aside old rivalries and new grudges to celebrate the year's reigning champion. Everyone is surely on their best behavior but if a player does forget to mind their manners, allow us to remind them of the rules ...

Discuss PGA Tour-PIF politics at the table.

Do Tell jokes into only the good ears of the Honorary Starters.

Don’t Get caught with a non-conforming butter knife.

Do Remove your Rangegoats hat in the dining room.

Don’t Anchor your salad fork.

Do Chew with your mouth closed even while Tiger recounts his 16th-hole chip-in.

Don’t Dredge up four-decades-old cheating allegations.

Do Fold your napkin into an azalea when you head to the lavatory.

Don’t Sneak in your own Waffle House.

Do Remember the dress code: Jackets required.

Don’t Practice aimpoint with your peas.

Do Let the guy who just got a $300-million payday pick up the check.