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Behold the strangest first-inning ejection in first-inning ejection history, which obviously involves Madison Bumgarner

There are few things on this earth Madison Bumgarner loves more than a good staredown with an umpire, which once produced one of the great clips in MLB history featuring he and Joe West. That time, though, MadBum didn't take West's bait, opting to stare away and not say a word, which would have certainly earned him an ejection.

On Wednesday afternoon, Bumgarner wasn't so lucky. After one inning of work in Miami, the Arizona Diamondbacks ace made his way to the dugout and was stopped for a routine hand/sticky stuff checkup with umpire Dan Bellino. These checkups have become somewhat of a joke, with pitchers and umpires simply going through the motions. But for some reason, Bellino took this one extremely seriously, massaging Bumgarner's hand for a solid seven seconds, all while never even looking at his hand and staring down the lefty in one of the oddest sequences you'll see all season.

Bumgarner, as you might imagine, wasn't thrilled about it. Rather than just shake it off and go into the dugout, he said something and was promptly ejected after throwing just 13 pitches. Chaos quickly ensued:

And you thought Mad Max was a madman? Wake me when he gets tossed after 13 pitches and tells the umpire "I'm gonna f--- you up" to his face, Mets fans. Until then, MadBum is still the maddest madman in pitching. 

All kidding aside, it sure seems like Bumgarner has reason to be pissed as hell like he was here. Check out the difference in hand checkups for him and Marlins starter Elieser Hernandez:

So, so odd. I mean, what the hell is this?

What a creep. These umps remain absolutely drunk with power. Once you wade into baiting-players-into-saying-something-so-you-can-eject-them territory, you're trying way, way too hard.