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Chris 'Mad Dog' Russo celebrates wife and kids leaving for weekend with hilarious 'gummies and golf' monologue

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Joe Buglewicz

ESPN has had … a week. Between Stephen A. Smith getting embarrassed on national television over his WNBA takes to Pat McAfee needing to apologize to Caitlin Clark after calling her a “white b*tch,” things have been tumultuous the past few days at the Worldwide Leader. Fortunately, we still have Chris ‘Mad Dog’ Russo, who brought a bit of levity to the air with an all-time soliloquy about his upcoming weekend plans.

Russo has admitted to taking a gummy or three in the past. He said the following in September 2023: “Here’s what I’m doing this weekend. I will get a run in, take the two dogs, Bo and Riley, for a walk. At about 12 o’clock, I’ll sit down, make an early cocktail. Cut a gummy in half. We got Florida State-Clemson, I like the Florida State quarterback, let’s do something there.”

That’s a hell of a way to spend a college football weekend, but now Russo has replaced the gridiron with the golf course.

“Leaving Kennedy at 8:45, bon voyage! The lovely wife, the sons. They’re all out. You got it,” Russo exclaims. “So, it is a happy weekend for yours truly. It’s G². You know what G² means? Gummies and golf! Oh, baby. I got nobody home.”

“Are you telling me you started off this segment by celebrating the fact that your wife and kids are gone?” Stephen A. inquires to which Russo answers in the affirmative.

“I’ve done it once before in the middle of the summer. I’ve got the whole house to myself. I can be blown away and hit the golf ball. That’s No. 1.”

This is what television is all about. We don’t need hot takes or name-calling, just someone truly excited to partake in some golf and edibles. We know that 'Mad Dog' is a golf aficionado; he said as much in his Golf Digest interview with Alex Myers at the tail end of 2022 and even mentioned that he’ll air out fellow golfers he plays with on his respective shows.

“The people who play with me get nervous that if they suck, I’m going to bring it up on the air, which I’ve done millions of times,” Russo said. “You’ve got to take your jabs. You’ve got to have fun. That’s the danger about playing with me. You’re gonna hear about it.”

We’re not sure what exactly he’ll remember and be able to discuss after the gummy. We’re not even sure if he’ll remember this “First Take” speech.

“It may have already started,” Russo joked(?). “You think I’m straight right now? It may have already started. I’m flying right now. One o'clock on Sunday afternoon, I’m on that first tee box and I’m washed out, baby. I’ll hit a ball 240 straight.”