CFB MVP
Lane Kiffin's yellow golf ball won the college football weekend
Lane Kiffin knew Neyland Stadium would be a hostile environment on Saturday night. That was a given considering his history with the Tennessee fanbase. What he couldn't have known, though, was just how bad it was going to get not only for him, but for his entire team.
Late in the fourth quarter, with Ole Miss up 31-26, the Volunteers offense faced a 4th and 24 from their own 36-yard line, needing a first down to keep their hopes alive. With less than a minute remaining, quarterback Hendon Hooker found tight end Jacob Warren over the middle for 23 yards, coming up a half yard short of the line to gain.
Or so the referees said. Replay review showed Warren was extremely close to picking up the first down. Close enough to overturn? Apparently not, as the controversial call stood on the field. The fans were not having that, and they began to throw everything they could get their hands on directly at the field, much of it reaching the players and coaches of both teams.
Beers. Water bottles. Mustard (!) bottles. Food. You name it, Vols fans threw it. The star of the show, however, was a yellow golf ball that nearly hit Kiffin. Watch how close it came to knocking the Lane Train off the tracks:
Once you get over the initial shock and absurdity of a yellow golf ball being thrown from the crowd and almost striking the opposing head coach, you realize how dangerous this actually was. Kiffin wouldn't die if it hit him, but if it cracked he or anyone else in the head we're having a much different conversation on Monday morning. Fortunately, it did not, allowing Kiffin to laugh it off in typical Kiffin fashion.
Kiffin had every right to lose his sh-t here and call Tennessee fans every bad name in the book. Credit to him for not dumping BUCKETS of gasoline on the flame, something a younger, less-seasoned version of himself might have done (hell, he was within his rights to throw the ball back, in our opinion). Incredibly, he was almost hit again on the way into the tunnel, this time by a water bottle, which he of course tried to catch one-handed:
Just a brutal, brutal look for the Volunteer fanbase. Thought this tweet summed it up nicely:
This is perfectly put, though the guy could very well have come from the golf course, so we'll never really know his true intentions. Either way, how did he sneak a golf ball into the stadium? Airtight security there at Neyland. We should be thanking them, though, because it made for a ridiculous night of college football content.
Helmet Stickers
(In this section, we'll dole out helmet stickers for those who just missed the cut on "star of the week.")
Mike Gundy
Gundy, who is still a man and is now 54, cut up a damn RUG on Saturday evening following Oklahoma State's massive 32-24 victory over rival Texas. That W got the Pokes to 6-0 on the season, jumping them from No. 12 to No. 8 in the AP Top 25 and putting them in prime position in the Big 12 standings. Plenty of reason to get low, low, low, lowwwwww like Gundy did postgame:
Horns down, indeed. Texas finds new ways to not be "back" every week. Gundy getting this low on 'em after winning in their house is a new low for the Longhorns. Five helmet stickers for the man with the mullet.
J.J. Weaver
It's always amazing when stories like Weaver's sort of fly under the radar, because you'd think a major college football player having six fingers would have been a big deal way back in Week 1. But it took 6-0 Kentucky playing 6-0, No. 1 Georgia for Weaver's unique physical feature to go mainstream:
Unfortunately, Weaver's Wildcats got dusted by the Dawgs, 30-13. But at least he got some love from Jim Abbott, the famous MLB pitcher who was born without a right hand:
One of the great tweets of all time right there. Four helmet stickers for Weaver, two for Abbott. Six total. One per finger.
Comedian Shane Gillis
Why is a lesser-known comedian making it into our college football weekend roundup post? Well, because Gillis did something extremely impressive on Saturday. He randomly called his shot with one of the better underdog bets of the season:
What makes this so funny is tweeting out football picks doesn't seem to be something Gillis does on a regular basis. He must have just had a great gut feeling, which, as any gambler knows, are the most satisfying hits. Gut feeling, Gillis liked Purdue moneyline, and by god did Purdue moneyline cash with ease (they beat No. 2 Iowa 24-7 at Kinnick Stadium).
Two helmet stickers for Gillis, whose "Gilly and Keeves" sketches are even better than his heavy dog ML plays. When you have some free time, I highly recommend "Militia Funeral."
The QB who took a knee instead of spiking the ball
Speaking of upsets, DIII UW-Platteville had a chance to take down No. 11 UW-La Crosse, a game we'd never discuss or even know was occurring if the UW-Platteville quarterback Colin Schuetz didn't make one of the worst mental mistakes in the history of organized football and possibly American sport as a whole.
OK, that may have been a little harsh, but kneeling instead of spiking is about as boneheaded as it gets with your team down 24-23 in chip-shot field goal range with less than 10 ticks to go. Awful:
What's particularly bad about this is that he thinks he did the right thing. His brain just stopped working for a second, and had he realized he screwed up sooner they may have gotten up to the line in time to spike it for real. The truly worst part is that Schuetz is a senior, so he doesn't even have the inexperience excuse to fall back on, and he's running out of career left to rectify this mistake. Prayers up, my dude. Zero helmet stickers, though.