Fragile Goods

Jimmy Garoppolo's contract prohibits him from doing pretty much anything fun

May 1, 2018
Tennessee Titans v San Francisco 49ers
Jason O. Watson

Jimmy Garoppolo is the second-highest paid QB in the NFL, making a cool $27.5 million per year on the back of exactly 272 professional passing attempts. When you get that lucky, however, you typically have to make a few sacrifices, and according to a report from Ben Volin of the Boston Globe, Jimmy G is no exception. Turns out, there are more than few caveats baked into Garoppolo's mammoth contract, and from the sound of the things he is EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN to do, well, let's just say we hope he really likes crocheting. Here, let's take a stroll through Buzzkill City:

  • No offroad vehicles of any kind (thanks a lot Bumgarner)

  • No motorcylces (AKA The Big Ben rule)

  • No surfing

  • No skiing

  • No guns

  • No boxing

  • No professional wrestling (guess this means Undertaker will have to face Kirk Cousins at WrestleMania 35 instead)

  • No rock climbing

  • No bungee jumping

  • No diving (or, presumably, running around the pool)

  • No sky diving

  • No scuba diving

Thankfully, it appears Garoppolo is still allowed to have the occasional O'Doul's and missionary with a carefully vetted partner of the 49ers' choosing, but man, a life without motorcycles, guns, and turnbuckle power bombs is a pretty steep price to pay for getting paid a pretty steep price.

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