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Golf would have been used to humanize President Trump if 'The Mooch' wasn't canned

August 03, 2017

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It’s only a matter of time before there are college case studies and documentary films (short form, most likely) that detail the brief, but eventful, tenure of Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director. But what we hope will also become part of the panoply of retrospective material is a good old-fashioned “What If” alternative history novel retelling the fate of the Trump presidency, and the free world, had “The Mooch” not been silenced after just 10 days.

Because that alternative history would have involved golf.

We know this thanks to the memo Scaramucci wrote between red-bull-fueled, flame-throwing rants to his staff outlining his vision for leading the White House communications department. The draft, fittingly leaked to the media and published on the Internet, includes using Donald Trump’s affinity for golf to help “humanize” the president.

Scaramucci notes: “POTUS is the best golfer to serve as President. Perhaps, we embrace it with a national online lottery to play a round of golf with him… or a charity auction.”

Original? Perhaps. Doable? Highly unlikely! Yet it was this outside-the-box thinking that we’re going to miss most without the Mooch around.

Indeed, think about it. The round could have been played at one of Trump’s properties—the President certainly would have cut the event a good rental rate. Maybe instead of one winner, five finalists could have been selected with a reality-TV style competition to follow that paired them down to one ultimate champion, Trump present to hand the last survivor a golden bag tag. A separate celebrity run-off could have also been in the cards to see who rounds out the foursome.

Alas, it would seem unlikely that the plan will stay intact when a new communication director comes aboard. And so we’ll just have to wait for that alternative history novel to find out how many shots the President was going to ask for a side.