Earlier this week, Anthony Rizzo folded his ankle like a slice of New York pizza (sorry Chicago, none of the deep-dish tomato-pie sh*t.) It was a nasty injury that looked like it had the potential to be season-ending, for both Rizzo and the Chicago Cubs, who are currently in the throes of a four-way Wild Card royal rumble sans star shortstop Javier Baez, missing indefinitely with a thumb fracture. Just take a look at the footage. This was not the look of a man who was going to be playing baseball anytime.
But on Thursday night, Rizzo, seemingly back from the proverbial dead, returned to the lineup for a crucial showdown with the NL Central-leading Cardinals. In the bottom of the first, he stepped to the plate to a standing ovation from the Wrigley crowd, but the surprises weren't done there. Blasting over the loudspeaker, as keen, closeted nerd ears have since discerned, was The Undertaker's WWE entrance music, which has struck fear into the hearts of giant, baby-oiled men for decades. Ladies and gentleman, this what we in the industry call "genius."
For those of you who need the CliffsNotes, The Undertaker is one of the single greatest superstars in WWE history, known for his supernatural ability to return miraculously from the dead and/or backstage at exactly the moment you least it expect it (read: the moment you most expect it.) You've probably seen the memes. Usually they go something like this: TfW wHeN MoM SaYs tHE HoT pOcKEts ArE reADy...
Obviously, this move came in pretty handy for ol' Undertaker over the years, helping him to 21 consecutive WrestleMania victories between 1991 and 2014. "The Streak," as it's become known, is widely considered one of the greatest winning runs in sports history, but unfortunately Rizzo didn't have quite the same luck on Thursday night. He did manage to smack a solo homer, but ultimately the Cubs fell to the Cards 5-4 in extras, dropping out of the postseason entirely following another win for the Brewers, who, after going 7-2 since losing Christian Yelich for the season, might be this season's actual MLB Undertakers.