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Riviera Country Club

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‘This madness needs to stop’: Girlfriend goes on brutal rant about boyfriend's putter addiction

December 12, 2023

There’s only one thing to blame when you're missing putts: The putter. All golfers know the fault never lies with themselves but with the faulty equipment.

Same goes for this enterprising golfer, who decided that it was (once again) time for a new putter in order to fix his woes on the green. Not everyone agreed, howver. His significant other went on a rant for the century with unfortunately many clear and compelling points. It’s brutal, harsh and probably for the best if we’re being honest.

“Consume, consume, consume,” begins the tirade. “Because nothing is wrong with your putter. Nothing. You don’t make enough putts. It’s you. It’s the operator. The putter doesn’t have anything to do with how many putts you make. You don’t make enough putts. I’ve seen you at the range. It’s not the putter’s fault.

“This madness needs to stop. You started with what you wanted, which is that you wanted a new putter and now you’re trying to justify buying a new putter because you don’t think it’s cute anymore. So now you’re saying, ‘If I can get fitted for a new putter, then I’ll be able to make more putts.’ But then, guess who’s going to be mad when they don’t make more putts? The new one’s not going to help you make more putts either. Consume, consume, consume. You just want new clubs all the time!

And then you say that I’m the one who doesn’t know … you do it too. You say, ‘Ah you go to Sephora every month and you just want stuff at Sephora.’ But it’s like you do the same things.”

This diatribe could’ve been written out beforehand—it’s that precise—but it seems like this entire rant is off the cuff. You can tell that this has been a sticking point in the relationship for some time. In fact, it even seems the filmer may have been purposefully goding his gilfriend into her rant, which is probably for the best in the long run. You can't let that fury linger.

Out favorite moment is the “I’ve seen you at the range.” The devil is in the details and she's noticed every little thing.

To be fair, she's probably right. That new putter probably won’t fix things, but we still think it’s worth the try. As one of our great modern-day philosophers says, “Consume, consume, consume.”