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Change Is Bad

Dustin Johnson without a beard remains one of the most terrifying images in golf

September 02, 2021

If you've never seen them, there's a great collection of prank videos on the internet of dads who normally are always sporting a beard going clean-shaven and revealing it to their babies. Almost always, the baby's reaction is one of terror, as the man they believe to be their dad looks like a complete stranger.

We are literally all that baby every time we see Dustin Johnson, one of the great always-bearded athletes in sports, go completely clean-shaven. On Wednesday, he did just that, showing up to his press conference at East Lake beard-less. Tell me you don't feel like one of those poor infants seeing their fraudulent father's naked face right now:

No, no, no and NOPE. There are some athletes who simply look way, way better with facial hair, full beards, specifically. DJ, James Harden, Joe Thornton, etc. Change is actually bad, guys. 

You may recall, Johnson actually shaved mid-tournament a year ago last month at the WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational, and he also did it before the 2016 PGA Championship hoping for good luck. Perhaps Johnson is looking for some similarly better luck in the playoffs, even though most athletes usually start growing a "playoff beard" for the postseason.  

"Yeah, well, not me," Johnson said. "Yesterday I was shaving and I decided it shave it off."

Peak DJ.