To be a fly on the wall of the 20th Century Fox marketing boardroom where this Deadpool 2 teaser brainstorm took place. There was probably pizza, possibly a bong, definitely a white board with penises drawn all over it, and presumably a waste basket full of crumpled-up pitches including Deadpool joins the cast of Wicked, Deadpool auditions for the role of Kramer in Seinfeld season four, and Deadpool kicks Rome out of Sublime with Rome in order to form Deadpool with Sublime.
In the end, they settled on Deadpool as Bob Ross—the affable, afro’d PBS painter who introduced American soccer moms to the concept of “happy trees” in the late 80s—providing a soothing counterpoint to the sloppy string of headshots and cancer jokes ahead. Check it out and try not spit coffee all over the work laptop there’s a 37% chance you’re currently watching Netflix on:
As you’ll pretty quickly realize, there’s approximately (and by that we mean exactly) ten seconds of actual Deadpool 2 footage on show here, but if you’re into double entendres and Ryan Reynolds in a red latex body suit—or ever had to sit around while you’re grandfather watched taped episodes of The Joy of Painting in some interminable, shag-carpeted Ohio living room—this one is definitely for you. If not, maybe Fox's OFFICIAL Deadpool 2 synopsis will stoke the fire in your loins…
After surviving a near fatal bovine attack, a disfigured cafeteria chef (Wade Wilson) struggles to fulfill his dream of becoming Mayberry’s hottest bartender while also learning to cope with his lost sense of taste. Searching to regain his spice for life, as well as a flux capacitor, Wade must battle ninjas, the yakuza, and a pack of sexually aggressive canines, as he journeys around the world to discover the importance of family, friendship, and flavor – finding a new taste for adventure and earning the coveted coffee mug title of World’s Best Lover.