First I thought Twitter was some kind of hybrid car being developed by Government Motors. Then I thought it was a new bite-size snack combining what's best of the Frito and the Cheeto. Then I found out it was me. On a laptop. At the U.S. Open. Having fun. Even scooping up new readers. Here are some of those tweets as selected by a panel of classical literature professors at the University of Golf Digest.
This will be my 56th U.S. Open. After my 100th, maybe the USGA will finally give me a parking space.
6:10 AM June 15th
The portable toilet outside the media center has signs with tips on putting and hitting drives, irons and sand shots. Nothing on the grip.
9:00 AM June 17th
Another writer just dropped by and said, "I never thought I'd see the day: Dan Jenkins on Twitter." I told him, "Bob, it's a new world."
10:43 AM June 17th
Favorites from my 199 majors: Masters ('54, Snead), U.S. Open ('51, Hogan), British ('70, Nicklaus) and PGA ('65, my buddy Dave Marr).
11:21 AM June 17th
Least favorite majors: Masters ('73, Tommy Aaron), U.S. Open ('96, Steve Jones), British ('91, Ian Baker-Finch), PGA ('61, Jerry Barber).
11:42 AM June 17th
I'd rather see the USGA keep the players here until August before allowing them to play lift, clean and cheat.
8:53 AM June 18th
Tiger Woods just made his second double bogey of the first round. Golf is dead.
7:16 AM June 19th
With all the rain delays, we're going to have to change the old saying to: A major doesn't really begin until the back nine . . . on Wednesday.
5:03 PM June 20th
Easy to root for Phil; still hard to root for those shirts.
10:17 AM June 21st
Are you seeing the dark sky here right now? If this was Fort Worth, I'd be looking for the basement.
12:19 PM June 21st
So far there have been two 64s, three 65s, five 66s, six 67s and five 68s. Is this the U.S. Open or the Hope pro-am?
12:54 PM June 21st
A birdie by David Duval, who has 15 of them so far this week, matching what he made from 2002 to 2008.
6:38 AM June 22nd
Bogey by Tiger at 10, despite the announcers pulling so hard for him they've developed hernias.
6:52 AM June 22nd
Tiger, take that putter and drag it out of the back end of the limo on the drive to the airport. Trust me, you'll feel better.
8:31 AM June 22nd
I'm curious how many people are reading this at the moment instead of getting any meaningful work done at the office.
9:40 AM June 22nd
The USGA had only one silver medal on hand for the three runners-up, and Phil told Barnes and Duval, "I've got four; I'm plenty good."
11:47 AM June 22nd
You've got to appreciate a U.S. Open champion who says "Yes sir" and apologizes when he forgets part of your question. I like Lucas Glover.
11:51 AM June 22nd
This is the Ancient Twitterer signing off from Bethpage. Thanks for being with me. Let's do it again.
1:32 PM June 22nd