Here in America, our politicians watch football in leather-draped suites while gorging on filet, sipping Dom Perignon 1959, and backslapping Jerry Jones after every first down/joke about the rapidly inflating cost of meat tubes down on the proletariat mezz. Up north, however, things are done a little different. The end zones are the size of Nunavut, the fries come with gravy, and ivory-toothed Canadian Prime Minister (and part-time international heartthrob) Justin Trudeau watches from the bleachers beneath a dusting of snow in the kind of dreamlike PR scenario that keeps Sean Spicer up all night staring at the ceiling fan. In case you're wondering about the specificity, this—minus the poutine—is pretty much how JT spent the Grey Cup on Sunday night:
Shockingly, this was only the second most Canadian thing to happen on Sunday evening, with Windsor-native Shania Twain arriving via dogsled for her half-time performance. After the game Trudeau tweeted his congratulations to the victorious Toronto Argonauts, while miraculously failing to mention himself, how the CFL would be better if he were running it, or any number of players who deserve to be suspended for violating completely imaginary rules.