Great, Just Great

Buy your holiday scotch now, because it's about to get A LOT more expensive

October 3, 2019
Glass of whisky with ice on old wooden barrel
Shaiith

Bad news, scotch drinkers. Bad news, spouses of scotch drinkers. Bad news, friends, family, sons, daughters, Secret Santa partners, and mailmen of scotch drinkers. Bad news to just about everybody buying anyone anything brown and boozy from the British Isles this holiday season: It's about to get a hell of a lot more expensive.

According to Forbes, On Wednesday, the U.S. Government, not content with their ongoing trade war with China, passed a 25% tariff on all single-malt scotch whisky imports (read: all single-malt scotch whisky period.) The new import tax—a petty financial swing at the European Union over a plane manufacturing subsidy provided to Airbus at the expense Boeing—includes $7.5 billion dollars worth of European goods, including everything from German beer to French cheese, AKA any easy, fool-proof holiday gift idea you can possibly think of (sorry, but I don't think mom wants the new Call of Duty.)

RELATED: Most expensive whiskey on earth sells for more than the cost of your soul

Most important among said goods is, of course, scotch whisky. Beautiful, wonderful, life-giving, life-affirming whisky, a $463-million-dollar U.S. market. So what does this mean for you? Well, it means that as of October 18th, when the tariff goes into effect, you're going to be paying through the nose for scotch, which, let's be honest, you were already paying through the nose for. So ask yourself, how much paying can your nose take?

If the answer is none, we suggest you run, not walk, to your local liquor store, holiday shopping list hastily scribbled on your palm. When you get there, breathless, sweating, and wild eyed like a survivalist on doomsday, just ask for one of these.

Ardbeg 19-Year-Old Traigh Bhan

Glenmorangie Allta Private Edition No. 10

Johnnie Walker A Song of Ice & A Song of Fire

RELATED: 7 things a Kentucky bourbon pilgrimage taught us about the universe

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