An Oregon man who survived a harrowing ordeal in a Burger King restroom is now suing the restaurant. It's just not for what you think.
After being locked inside the single-stall fast-food restroom for more than an hour — which sounds like the plot of Netflix's horror film follow-up to Bird Box — 50-year-old Curtis Bronner was promised free food for life at the Portland-area establishment he often frequents, according to The Oregonian.
"It’s the kind of place where you hold your breath: Go in and get out of there as fast as you can," Brooner told The Oregonian of the incident that required a locksmith to free him. "That wasn’t an option for me."
Talk about a nightmare. But after Bronner went to BK for lunch the next 13 of 15 days (only skipping Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when he presumably goes to White Castle instead), the restaurant refused to let him eat on the house anymore. Apparently, Bronner really pushed the limits of his reward by eating there multiple times on two of those 13 days.
In response, Bronner has filed a lawsuit seeking $9,026 in damages. Why $9,026? Because that's how much a weekly Whopper meal would cost for the next 22 years. Brilliant. Well, other than the fact that no one who eats that much Burger King would ever live into their 70s.
Also not brilliant was Bronner not getting this agreement/death sentence in writing. Even Seinfeld's Kramer did that when he (happily) settled his hot coffee lawsuit for a lifetime of free cafe lattes. Although, he still had some trouble cashing that in:
While we're not sure if Bronner will win his lawsuit (after all, he doesn't have Jackie Chiles representing him), we're convinced this story will be spoofed on a future sitcom.