The Loop
Brooks Koepka's girlfriend butchers his hair, Tom Brady trash talks Tiger and the weirdest Masters tribute ever
Welcome to another edition of The Grind where we never thought the NFL Draft could be more boring than a typical Zoom meeting for work. Of course, it doesn’t help when your team takes an offensive lineman with the fourth overall pick and all Mel Kiper can talk about is the guy’s “pristine personal character.” That’ll get you fired up for next season … if there is one (Gulp!). But seriously, if my bosses brought Roger Goodell’s energy to our virtual gatherings, I’d be asleep before you could say Tua Tagovailoa. Anyway, we’ll try our best as always to liven up the conversation and bring you everything that’s (still) happening in the world of golf.
WE’RE BUYING
The Match: It’s back! And it’s better than ever! At least, we hope so. Our nation will turn its lonely, bored eyes to Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson sometime in May for another made-for-TV golf event. But this time, the two will have a little help from some famous friends in Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. While the exact time, place and format are still being worked out, we do know Tiger will team up with Peyton (opening as -150 favorites at Westgate Las Vegas Sportsbook) against Phil and the former Patriots QB (Isn’t the end of the New England Dynasty great?). We also know it’s all for COVID-19 relief efforts, hence the full name “The Match: Champions For Charity.” But that doesn’t mean the guys aren’t going to be taking the competition seriously.
Considering that’s better trash talk than anything we saw from just Tiger and Phil the first time around, we’re off to a good start.
Adam Scott: Apparently, the 2013 Masters champ just rolled up to a public course in Australia one day—and started balling.
Pretty cool. But even cooler? How about this story from the Sydney Morning Herald involving Scott and a 76-year-old named Ross Campbell. Poor Mr. Campbell is suffering from brain tumors that have clouded his thinking into believing he’s good friends with the star and a frequent golf partner. When Scott found out about this, he called Campbell and played along, bringing a much-needed smile to the senior’s face. As they say Down Under, good on ya, mate.
Alex Cejka: “Alex Cejka is the hottest golfer on the planet,” is not a sentence I thought I’d ever be typing in 2020, but here we are. The one-time PGA Tour winner and four-time European Tour champ won a second straight start on the Outlaw Tour. And he did in spectacular fashion with a wild rally to get into a playoff:
Wait, did the OUTLAW Tour steal the Gene Sarazen Cup? That trophy looks awfully familiar. … Anyway, for a man with $20 million in career PGA Tour earnings, his $9,000 haul from back-to-back mini-tour wins is pretty much a rounding error. But there could be bigger earnings in his near future, because he turns 50 in December. The fellas on the senior tour better watch out.
WE’RE SELLING
Eddie Olson’s luck: This guy looked on his way to an Outlaw Tour title and that cool trophy only to get gut-punched by Alex CHECK-a. On top of that, Eddie has only been able to work on his game in a park by aiming at an umbrella. And even that almost got stolen.
Golf Twitter should start a GoFundMe to get this guy some proper training gear.
Playing TPC Sawgrass now: If you’re planning on playing the Players course, you might want to hold off, because the signature hole—and for no other course does that term mean so much—is under construction:
Best to wait a few months so you can brag about how you hit the famed island green with a 9-iron and two-putted for par the only time you played it. Oh, wait, that was me. Try not to act impressed.
Brooks Koepka’s haircut: The four-time major champ let girlfriend Jena Sims give him a quarantine haircut. And she absolutely butchered him. First, a look at how his hair used to look:
Concentrate on his hair, people. Sharp, right? Well, here’s how he looks now:
Brutal. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but after seeing that, I immediately canceled a salon appointment with my wife.
ON TAP
This week would have been the Wells Fargo Championship, AKA that tournament Tiger usually plays at Quail Hollow, which has a tough closing stretch of holes known as the “Green Mile.” So scary Stephen King even wrote a story about it.
Random tournament fact: Max Homa won his first PGA Tour title here last year. And if that name rings a bell, it’s probably because he’s achieved far more fame since by roasting people’s golf swings on Twitter. Dream big, kids.
RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK
—Tom Brady photoshopped that Instagram image himself: 1 MILLION-to-1 odds
—The Giants picked the best offensive lineman: 10 MILLION-to-1 odds
—At plus-odds, Phil will be betting on himself in The Match: LOCK
PHOTO OF THE WEEK
This (second photo) is definitely the weirdest Masters tribute of all time:
Don’t stop there. Give the top egg producer each year a green jacket.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (SENIOR DIVISION)
The PGA Tour Champions put out the best pre-draft video of any potential prospect:
Bernhard Langer is a beast. No wonder the dude is still dominating in his 60s.
VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (KID DIVISION)
Come for the great golf shot, stay for a mom’s loud reaction:
Congrats to young Asher on the ace. Also, I’ve played that hole a bunch of times and never come close to making a hole-in-one. Obviously. At least, I’ll always have that par on No. 17 at TPC Sawgrass …
THIS WEEK IN TOUR PRO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
The Garcias have entered the world of TikTok:
Pretty strong first effort.
THIS WEEK IN PHIL BEING PHIL
Whatever Tiger got paid for the first The Match, it wasn’t worth it. He’s going to be hearing about that loss as long as he lives.
THIS WEEK IN OTHER GOLFERS BEING QUARANTINED
Cole Hammer continued to work on his short game in creative ways:
Chris Paisley practiced his cooking:
And Tyrrell Hatton showed off some impressive baking skills—as well as a good sense of humor about his on-course “rage”:
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“I would say 1A, 1B, whether it’s myself or Michael. He’s more, I think, outwardly competitive than I am. But I have my tendencies to be a little competitive at times, too.” —Tiger Woods on the most competitive athletes he’s ever come across. Here’s the clip of him telling GOLFTV’s Henni Zuel this, which includes a trademark Tiger smirk.
THIS AND THAT
Jason Day told the Australian Associated Press he plans to play in 11 of 13 events following the proposed PGA Tour restart in June. Incredibly, this wasn’t an April Fools’ Day joke. … Mark Calcavecchia says Tiger may have saved him about $300K once by telling him to take his time over a putt. MJ probably wouldn’t have done that. … Speaking of MJ, colleague Chris Powers wrote something fun on what if golf had it’s own “Jordan Rules.” Check it out. … And finally, you should also check out Tommy Fleetwood on this week’s Golf Digest Podcast. We discussed those Paul Azinger comments, that viral video with Francesco Molinari and, yes, quarantine hair.
RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Will Tiger/Peyton and Phil/Tom wear team uniforms?
Does the Tyrrell Hatton Bakery deliver?
Seriously, what am I going to do about my hair?