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The Best Dan Jenkins Tweets Of 2013

By Dan Jenkins Photos by Dom Furore
December 11, 2013
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MASTERS

Saw Colin Montgomerie looking for gifts in the golf shop, but they're already out of majors for guys who have never won one.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 10, 2013

Arnie's guy at IMG, Alastair Johnston, on fans reacting as Palmer rode by in a cart: "It's like going to Disney World with Mickey Mouse."

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 11, 2013

Tianlang Guan is 14 and is one over par after 13 holes. When I was 14, I had a car and was chasing girls.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 11, 2013

Tiger missed a chance to enhance his legend. It would've been bigger for him to withdraw with honor than to continue playing under a cloud.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 13, 2013

We golf writers, who occasionally question the intestinal fortitude of the players we cover, have packed the media center. It's raining.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) April 14, 2013

U.S. OPEN

I wanted to go to the 1950 U.S. Open at Merion, driving at 6 cents a mile. My paper said that was too expensive. Haven't missed one since.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 13, 2013

Lindsey Vonn to Tiger after his 76: "Did you, like, miss a gate on the course or something?"

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 15, 2013

Watching Tiger here, the question is shifting from whether he'll surpass Nicklaus' record to whether he'll win another major.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

Charl has made three bogeys and a double in his last four holes. In South Africa, that's known as Schwartzeling your pants.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

The U.S. Open doesn't really begin until the field finishes vomiting on the front nine on Sunday.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) June 16, 2013

BRITISH OPEN

After that exotic warm-up dance by Miguel Angel Jimenez, I'm expecting him to show up tomorrow wearing pantless chaps.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 19, 2013

I found something I wrote at the Open years ago, only to see that the line was mangled. Forty years later, the comma police strike again.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 19, 2013

A guy just asked me, "Did Hogan ever wear red pants?" Only with a gun to his temple.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 20, 2013

Little-known bonus in the event of a Westwood-Poulter playoff: Winner gets to name the royal baby.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

Hate to see Adam Scott make 4 straight bogeys after 4 straight to finish last year. Given that, a green jacket makes a pretty good blanket.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

Phil said he hit two of the best 3-woods of his life at 17. I wonder how many majors he'd have if he never carried a driver. Half-kidding.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) July 21, 2013

PGA CHAMPIONSHIP

Nobody can make me understand how a golfer who hasn't won a major in five years can be No. 1 in any kind of golf ranking.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

To the Twitterers who say majors aren't everything, ask Greg Norman how many of his Dorals he'd trade for a green jacket.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

I can't decide if it's easy or hard to imagine Jim Furyk with two majors.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

I hear Fox wants Greg Norman to be the new Johnny Miller. Greg should be able to handle the knowing choking when he sees it part.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 10, 2013

Does Rickie Fowler get his clothes out of a closet or the freezer section of the grocery store?

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 11, 2013

This just in: Auburn has completed an in-house investigation and found no evidence of any wrong-doing with Jason Dufner's PGA win.

— Dan Jenkins (@danjenkinsgd) August 12, 2013