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It’s astounding how many "intelligent" lifeforms fell for Arian Foster’s joke that the NFL is scripted

February 02, 2023

On Monday, on a podcast titled “Macrodosing” co-hosted by PFT Commenter, in case you’re wondering how seriously you should be taking the content of said podcast, Arian Foster engaged in a little thing we call “comedy.” You might have heard of it. It’s this fresh new concept where you say something that isn’t altogether true but reflects truth in some amusing way with the express purpose of making an audience laugh. There, flanking a poster of a UFO poster that wouldn’t look out of place in Phish fan’s dorm room, Foster sarcastically confirmed the worst-kept fake secret in sports:

The NFL is actually scripted.

It was a reasonably funny, albeit clearly facetious, bit designed not to confirm a preexisting conspiracy theory, but to point and laugh at the weirdos who actually believe it. Things, however, quickly got out of hand. Foster and co. underestimated how gooped up the internet is with whackjob drool (and worse). Suddenly no one could tell up from down, left from right. In the ensuing chaos and confusion, Foster’s sketch was reported on by everyone from meme bots to legitimate news outlets, including but by no means limited to Sports Illustrated. Yes, that Sports Illustrated.

Now in SI’s defense, if you click into that story and scroll down a couple of paragraphs, they acknowledge that Foster’s tongue was firmly in cheek, but still it’s a tough look for the former dynasty, which seems more and more like the Mac Jones Pats each passing day. Their tweet served Foster’s words to over 2.2 million users, straight no chaser. Other, um, less trusted news sources, eclipsed that number six times over because they are either A. sarcasm deaf or B. intentionally reporting a joke as fact in order to drive clicks (now there’s a conspiracy theory we actually believe).

The replies to each tweet, should you be brave enough to read them, are littered with fellow human beings who now believe that this is100%, absolute fact based solely on the evidence of a joke mocking bogus evidence. So remember, kids. If you want to avoid humiliation, make friends, have a fulfilling love life, and become a functioning member of adult society, remember to not just check your sources, but your sources’ sources. Or better yet, just go and actually watch the video yourself. That could have saved everybody a big, ugly, stupid headache.