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The Renaissance Club


A-Rod tried to put a Yankees jacket on Big Papi, and it went about as well as you’d expect

October 19, 2017

In a bold future of peace and love where even A-Rod and David Ortiz play happy-go-lucky work chums on TV, it’s somewhat sad to see those old battle lines—and the epic, endlessly entertaining drama that accompanied them—fade into little more than dusty legends for your grandchildren to dread. Thankfully for sadistic bastards like ourselves, however, the AL and NL Championship Series seem to be stirring up some old animosities amongst the baseball faithful, and we are absolutely, definitely here for it.

Let’s check in and see how A-Rod and Big Papi’s buddy-cop sitcom is coming along, shall we?

Ahhhh there it is. The antagonism. The seething annoyance. The feeling that the guys in the other dugout are about to make you actively sick to your stomach. For a moment you think it’s going to be sweet too. Big Papi is cold but too busy to get himself a blanket, so A-Rod lovingly offers up his own jacket. Then you notice the Yankees emblem. Then Papi does too. Then suddenly it’s 2004 all over again.

All things considered, though, we don’t know why Ortiz is acting like he’s allergic to the pinstripes. The Green Monster saw you. We saw you. THE WHOLE WORLD SAW YOU. Sorry Papi, but some wounds are just too deep to heal.