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9 things that would be happening at the Masters right about now
Mike Ehrmann
While golf fans keep their fingers crossed for a November Masters, it's difficult to keep their spirits high during what would have been Masters week. But we here at Golf Digest and The Loop have done our best to fill this void with content ranging from Masters Rewatches to Masters Rankings to Masters Debates to Masters Did You Knows. We even ran our own Masters simulation to see who would have won this year's tournament. But you don't need to be good at math to predict a lot of things that would have been happening on Day 1 at Augusta National. And no, I'm not referring to the dent I would have already made in the media center's chocolate-chip cookie supply.
1. People would be bitching about TV coverage not starting yet.
A tradition unlike any other, even good friends who are big golf fans will text me around noon on Masters Thursday saying, "WAIT, WHY ISN'T IT ON TV YET?!" Should it be on TV by then? Of course, but that's not how it works and everyone knows it. And yet everyone forgets this every year.
2. Computer-savvy people would be bitching about the online coverage.
This complaint has a little more legitimacy, especially considering Tiger Woods somehow seems to be left out of the "featured group" coverage for one of the first two rounds every year. That being said, beginning last year, you can see every shot from every player—granted, without commentary—on the Masters website, so there really isn't much to complain about here.
3. People would be overreacting to someone starting par-birdie-birdie.
Guys, No. 2 is a gettable par 5 and No. 3 is an almost drivable par 4. Relax. It's early.
4. Charley Hoffman would be winning.
Hoffman's career first-round scoring average at Augusta National is 69.5, but it drops to 68.6 if you take out the 74 he shot in his 2011 debut. In fact, no one has a lower opening-round scoring average since 2015. But again, relax. His best finish in that span is a T-9. And people had jokes about Ol Thursday Charley.
5. The player you bet on would not be winning.
We get it, you're cursed. No one cares. Also, shame on you for not just betting on Charley Hoffman to be the first-round leader. Talk about easy money.
6. Gary Player would be bragging about out-driving Jack Nicklaus in the ceremonial tee shot.
We get it, Gary. You work out.
7. Someone would be "turning back the clock at Augusta!"
It won't be Gary because by rule he doesn't play in the actual tournament anymore, but some old-timer like Freddie or Bernhard will really have the patrons revved up by a hot start. And Jim Nantz will be thrilled to tell TV viewers about it. Well, whenever CBS finally comes on the air.
8. Tiger Woods would be beginning his Masters title defense.
This is an obvious one and it wouldn't even matter how Woods plays. The fact that it's 2020 and we can say this after everything he went—and yes, put himself—through is amazing enough. Heck, this unexpected delay means Tiger remains the reigning Masters champ for even longer and that he gets to keep his green jacket at home for a few more months. Not a bad deal for him.
9. There would already be "roars echoing through the pines!"
Damn it, now I'm really sad. This thing better happen in November.