How many home-run cliches can we squeeze into a single headline? Good question, smart ass, but let us just say this: The Mars rover-killing laser Nolan Arenado blasted down the left-field line on Tuesday deserves every adverb in the dinger dictionary and every synonym in the homer thesaurus. If you don't believe us or haven't seen it yet, well, what you are waiting for? Go watch this 482-foot Manhattan Project test detonation and then come back here and try to tell us you're not impressed:
We know what you'll say too: It's Coors Field; put an asterisk on it. Hell, some Cards fans are going even a step further than that ...
The fact is, however, that Arenado's two-run leviathan is the third-longest homer in the record-breaking homer year of 2019, landing in the parking lot just behind Ian Desmond at 486 (Coors Field) and Nomar Mazara at 505 (Globe Life Park). It one-hopped out of the Rockies' mile-high stronghold with an exit velo of 107.7 miles per hour and, according to Statcast, is the longest home run Arenado has hit since Statcast (yes, there was baseball before Statcast.) Most important, it just cleared the ice-cream stand.
In other news, in case you've forgotten because, you know, the Rockies, Nolan Arenado is pretty, pretty, pretty good.