For once, we have a Donald Trump golf story that doesn't involve racism, sexism or environmental damage. Instead, it's about the Donald's actual game.
And -- we hope you're sitting down -- the Donald apparently doesn't play by the rules.
In a piece for the Washington Post, writer Ben Terris examines the 2016 Republican candidate's reputation as a cheat on the golf course. Testimonials from former Sports Illustrated editor Mark Mulvoy and rock singer Alice Cooper paint Trump as an unabashed fraud when it comes to his scorecard.
"“The worst celebrity golf cheat?” Cooper said. “I wish I could tell you that. It would be a shocker. I played with Donald Trump one time. That’s all I’m going to say.”
This isn't a new revelation; Rick Reilly's 2003 book Who's Your Caddy? details Trump's liberal interpretation of golf's rule book.
"Make sure you write that I play my first ball," Trump told Reilly. "You don’t get a second ball in life." As Reilly would later comment, this was true, save for the mulligans Trump took on three holes, including, in Reilly's words, "the world's first gimmie chip-in."
In Trump's defense, he's not the first politician to be accused of dishonest play. U.S. Presidents John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton, both stricken with the golf bug, reportedly weren't models of integrity on the golf course.
Gives new meaning to the phrase "I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.”