The Loop

World's most badass woman casually picks shark up out of pool, returns it to the ocean

October 11, 2017

Today in news that will make you feel utterly inferior, we head to Australia, where a woman swimming in a rock pool happened upon a shark, casually picked it up and returned it to the ocean. Let's pause there to watch the video.

OK now that we've digested, a couple of questions:

1.) Is this a common thing in Australia where people swimming in pools occasionally bump into sharks? If so, why would anyone buy a bathing suit?

1A.) Are the sharks ever like, "Hey, are you going to use the lap lane? If not, I'd like to bust out a quick 50."

2.) What are the odds that this sequence happened to be caught on video? "Hey get some footage of me in the pool. It's a pretty spot, and I just might bump into a shark, then LIFT IT OVER MY HEAD WITH MY BARE HANDS!"

OK, technically this was an "ocean pool" adjacent to the sea, so it was a slightly more probable encounter, than in, say, your brother's inflatable above-ground thing. Nonetheless, it's fair to say most of us would lack the same level of poise and would, most likely, freak the F out.

Then again, turns out the woman in question, Melissa Hatheier, is a real estate agent, so, you know, (insert joke about fellow predatory species here).