Dual Sports Athletes
June 05, 2019

What PGA Tour pros would look like if they played in the NHL instead

HAPPY GILMORE, Adam Sandler, 1996, (c) Universal/courtesy Everett Collection

©Universal/Courtesy Everett Col

Ever since Chubbs Peterson convinced Happy Gilmore to trade his Bruins sweater for a sweater vest, golf and hockey have been irrevocably intertwined—an odd couple united by apparatus, cultural dissimilarity, and the comedy therein. Now, as the NHL returns from its extended hiatus, we put on our thinking and drinking caps, imagining what some of the PGA Tour's top pros would look like if they picked up a different sort of stick all those years ago. Needless to say, the country club ain't gonna know what just hip checked it.

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Name: Rickie Fowler

Team: Fargo Woodchippers

Urban Legend: The real-life inspiration for Billy from Stranger Things.

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Name: Dustin Johnson

Team: Vegas Blackjacks

Urban Legend: The son-in-law of Wayne Gretzky.

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Name: Tony Finau

Team: Gainesville Gatorcats

Urban Legend: Was born with that beard.

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Name: Francesco Molinari

Team: Tucson Glaciers

Urban Legend: Once took his skate off and tried to stab somebody with it.

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Name: Brooks Koepka

Team: His own

Urban Legend: His heart was stopped by a slap shot five years ago and never restarted.