There are plenty of scary jobs out there. Exotic snake handler. High-rise construction worker. Nuclear submarine captain. Defense attorney. All of these require someone with a stiff upper lip and a stern stomach, but none boast the occupational hazards Carter Milton—an unassuming pro shop employee from Calgary—is facing this week, standing in as caddie for the one, the only Vijay Singh at the Shaw Charity Classic. You may think we're exagerrating, but that’s because you haven’t watched this yet:
I’ve seen just about every horror movie ever made, and this is more disturbing than all of them combined. But like all traumatic things, when given the proper distance and perspective, it can also be viewed in a darkly comedic light. The thrust of this video is clearly supposed to be “look how cool it is that this kid got to caddie for a living, breathing golf legend,” but does this look like the face of someone having fun to you?
Those eyes just scream, “HELP MEEEEEE.” From there the thrills and chills unfold one after the next. Carter calls the discovery that he would be caddieing for Singh as “a little bit of a shock, definitely a scare as well.” In the very next scene, he reads his Rangefinder to the back of the green instead of the flag , judging a tee shot at 200 yards. Vijay, having seen a couple 200-yard tee shots in his day, does a veritable spit take:
“200?” he says. “Can’t be 200.”
Milton reads again and comes back with 189.
“There’s a big difference between 189 and 200, yeah?" Singh asks, rhetorically. "Do that in the tournament … thank god you’re not shooting in the tournament …”
Like we said A+ cringe across the board. If you’ve got the guts, check out the whole clip and make sure to send your thoughts and prayers to Carter and his family. They need all the support they can get right now.
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