mystery milkshake man
26,000 calories?! Tour winner reveals the record number of Muirfield Village milkshakes in a week
Stan Badz
Although it’s just ice cream and milk, there’s a dramatic difference between a good milkshake and a bad milkshake. The first makes you believe in life itself, the second makes you furious over a waste of calories. There are obviously many golf courses that have a renowned milkshake, but few are as prominent (and tasty) as Muirfield Village’s drink of choice. If it’s good enough for Jack, it’s good enough for us.
There may be $20 million on the line this week at the Memorial, but we’re betting that a few pros made the trip for the milkshakes. Plus, they’re free for players, so it’s worth the Ohio trek for that alone. The problem is that they’re between 1,100 to 1,200 calories, depending on the shake, so it may not be the best for athletic activities.
“Someone told me about the milkshakes here,” Jason Day once explained to Golfweek. "I remember playing The International [at Castle Pines in Colorado] way back in the day. And I remember, we’re playing at altitude, and having a milkshake there, and I almost felt like I was going to die because they were so thick. And they were so good you couldn’t stop drinking them. And then I had my first one here, and it was actually thicker than the one I had at The International.”
This year, tour winner and niche Twitter/X celebrity Michael Kim took it upon himself to figure out which one is the best. And it appears there is an surprise choice over the famous Buckeye, made up of creamy peanut butter, chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream and a splash of milk.
“I believe we have a winner,” Kim posted. “Strawberry Oreo here at Memorial might be the best milkshake I’ve had. Tastes like Neapolitan with small bits of Oreo. 9.5/10. Apparently the record for one person is 22(!!) shakes in a week.”
Now, the Neapolitan is an upset, but few things are as upsetting as thinking about 22 milkshakes in one week. That’s potentially 26,400 calories, which is both heroic and WAY too many. Kim, unfortunately, didn’t name names, but the commenters underneath are going crazy trying to figure out who needs to be knighted.
Hopefully, we never get an answer. Some things are better off unsaid. Seriously, 22 milkshakes in a week? That’s between one sluggish tour pro and his maker.
