Well sports fans, it finally happened. All gunslingers hang up their spurs at some point, and after 19 seasons and six Super Bowls, it appears Tom Brady is riding off into the sunset.
A timing that initially comes off as odd, but after a quick recalculation of the present, the numbers add up. In the span of a month, the New England Patriots quarterback has lost:
- Rob Gronkowski, as everyone's favorite neanderthal is trading shoulder pads for WWE stir-ups.
- Defensive coordinator and man who views the strict parents in Footloose as role models Greg Schiano.
- His character coach, which somehow is a real thing.
- His owner Robert Kraft to a slew of awful "It looks like Kraft finally got his seventh ring!" jokes.
So while it may be a shock, we should not be surprised that Brady, is in fact, done. And as all the greats do, Brady joined the collaborative, congenial platform that is Twitter to announce his retirement:
Wow. What a goodbye. Short, but sweet. Straightforward yet inspirational. We were truly witness to greatness.
Except...wait a second...ENHANCE:
Why does that date ring a bell? Let's see what Wikipedia has to say about this. Weird, it's redirecting me to...oh man:
Oh ho ho, that prankster! Goodness, to join Twitter, on April Fools' Day no less, and act like you are retiring...Whew, I don't care who you are, that is some good, clean, "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" family-friendly humor. I look forward to recalling this moment and laughing about it later tonight.
But in all seriousness, someone should check on Bill Belichick. It's unclear if he understands the concept of jokes. This might have caused him to fall into a coma.