The Loop

Think NFL officiating is bad? This hot take on how to fix it is worse

March 08, 2019
NFL: FEB 03 Super Bowl LIII - Rams v Patriots

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Twitter is not known for its hospitality. It's a "Comedy Central Roast" come to life, only without the creativity or wit. (So basically, like a "Comedy Central Roast.") But even through these hate-filled veins, there's one target that draws a special sauce of vitriol: referees.

Bitching about referees, no matter the sport, is one of the few common threads left in our society. It's impulsive, not going to draw much contention...and once in a blue moon, it really IS the referees' fault. An instance last seen at the NFC Conference Championship Game, where the zebras took the New Orleans Saints' Super Bowl hopes and tossed them away like a sobriety coin at Mardi Gras.

Forget the fact that every person messes up their job at some point to some degree. When this happens in sports, there needs to be a congressional hearing and an instant fix to ensure the mistake never happens again, because #priorities. As egregious as the NFC Conference Game was, perhaps the worst thing to come of it is this so hot-our-computer-is-burning take from NFL personality and Mr. Universe regional entrant Jay Glazer. In response to a mailbag question on fixing officiating, Glazer delivered this, um, solution:

Here is MY solution to the officiating problem, as off the wall and out of left field as it sounds, I truly believe in the craziness that I’m about to give you. Here’s the solution: change out the officiating department and hire all new officials, all combat veterans special operation backgrounds. Go hire a bunch of Navy Seals, Marine Recon, Delta Force, those guys.

Think about it. They’ll be in the shape to be in better position. They literally can react faster than the rest of the world, even when bullets are flying. They can react quicker than anyone else when something happens on that field.

Also, coaches will be a little less inclined to rip into them out on the sidelines. It’s harder to go yell at a Navy Seal if coaches are upset about a call. Again, their reaction time is better than everyone else’s.

Listen, you could put the Rock or the Pope in the black-and-white threads, and we're positive Bill Belichick and John Harbaugh will still chew them out like they caught them sneaking into their basement to make out with their teenage daughter. Besides, Glazer forgets the NFL already tried this experiment. His name was Ed Hochuli.