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The Loop

The NHL's most pathetic playoff beards

April 13, 2018


The NHL Playoffs are officially in full swing, and whether or not your team is in it there is one thing we can all get behind as each series starts to heat up:

The playoff beards.

With each passing game the beards grow a bit longer, but some just never quite come in. So join us for a look back at the most comically bad beards in recent NHL Playoff history...but first, let's pay our respects to the greats, starting with by Butch Goring and the great New York Islanders teams of the 1980s. Look at these beauties:

B Bennett

The time-honored tradition has remained alive ever since, though few have captured the look quite like Ray Bourque:

B Bennett

David E. Klutho

If you were in the bar with your girlfriend in the 90s and Ray Bourque walked in looking like this you might as well kiss her goodbye.

In more recent years, it's gotten a little out of control, but you have to respect the sheer length Brent Burns and Joe Thorton can get out of that chin cheddar. Yes I will try and fail to use hockey slang for the remainder of this post:

Rocky W. Widner/NHL

Scott Dinn

When you get done chopping wood for five hours and realize you have to play in the Stanley Cup ^^^^

But while the playoff beard superstition has given us all-time greats, it can be a difficult time for those players that cannot for the life of them grow an actual beard, leading to some incredible facial hair follies like...

Daniel Briere

Francois Laplante/FreestylePhoto

Len Redkoles

Len Redkoles

Nothing says "hey guys, I'm not that creepy" like a patch beard and wet slicked-back hair. Speaking of creep city, here's the mayor ..

Erik Karlsson

Joe Sargent

Joe Sargent

Good lord, who lets you out of the house like this? Where's your mother, Erik? My man's out here looking like Cap N' Crunch, if Cap N' Crunch ditched the delicious cereal life and worked on his slap shot.

Chris Kreider

Jared Silber

Bruce Bennett

Chris Kreider was the kid that got too big and too strong too quickly and his facial hair forgot to catch up. Hence why it looks like it was painted on his face.

Justin Abdelkader

Leon Halip

Justin Abdelkader was going for the Andrew Luck neck beard, but instead ended up looking like Dwight Schrute's Cousin Mose.

Marc-Andre Fleury

Joe Sargent


Bruce Bennett


Bruce Bennett


Valtteri Filppula

Scott Audette

Scott Audette

When this is the best-looking beard on the list, we've got issues.

Corey Perry

Andy Devlin

Gerry Thomas

Remember that scene from the second Jackass movie where they make a fake beard and ... you know what, let's not go there.

Brad Marchand

Maddie Meyer

What's dirtier than Brad Marchand's actual play on the ice? His beard. What's uglier than Brad Marchand's actual face? His beard. Boom, double roasted.

Daniel and Henrik Sedin

Jeff Vinnick

These freakin' weirdos played together, retired together AND grew kind of decent beards together but the fact they had to be the EXACT same like everything they do makes it not cool. Please, do something different you two. Don't be surprised if these guys end up in a broadcast booth or behind a bench coaching soon and mimicking each other's every move.

Sidney Crosby

Patrick Smith

Bruce Bennett

Bruce Bennett

Last but most certainly not least is Sid The Kid/I can't grow a beard to save my life Crosby, who has actually seen some improvement over the years compared to the dirt stache days. But it's still quite bad, and we better get used to it because the Penguins are never losing the Stanley Cup again.