The Loop: PGA Tour Secret Admirers
MATH WE DON’T HATE
1,200
![img_29_1.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7aac273806f00089d00cf_img_29_1.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.544.suffix/1578581723363.jpeg)
Seats at the Beer Barrel Saloon, the world's longest bar
20,000
![img_29_2.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7ab066fc8c6000948de49_img_29_2.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.544.suffix/1578581757565.jpeg)
Seats at the Waste Management Phoenix Open's 16th Hole
PRESIDENTIAL (GOLF) STYLE THROUGH THE YEARS
![img_29_3.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7abfe1e8bf800089770b8_img_29_3.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.322.suffix/1578581771890.jpeg)
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL WITH YOUR FUTURE CLUB PRESIDENT
![The President's Putter at Rye Golf Club](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7add8aae635000908de54_GettyImages-1089773008.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.544.suffix/1578581722340.jpeg)
David Cannon
5:30 A.M.
Rise and grind
7 A.M.
Photo op with maintenance
9 A.M.
Send monogrammed Pro V1s to various greens-committee members
NOON
Deliver keynote campaign speech. Remember to . . .
• Unveil campaign slogan: “The future is a drivable par 4!”
• Distance self from previous administration’s disastrous cart path-only policy
• Promise to build fence along border with nearby public course; announce the public course will pay for it
2 P.M.
Release attack ad accusing opponent of improper drop at last year’s member-guest
4:30 P.M.
Dinner with the Lady nine-holers
PUPPY BOWL: GOLF EDITION
![img_30_1.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7ac9353fab40008ab8460_img_30_1.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.690.suffix/1578581769009.jpeg)
NAME: SCOTTY
OWNER: MAX HOMA
KNOWN FOR: BEST TWITTER IN THE PFL
● ● ●
NAME: WILSON
OWNER: PADRAIG HARRINGTON
CLAIM TO FAME: PGA ROOKIE PUP OF THE YEAR
● ● ●
NAME: LEIA
OWNER: JIMMY WALKER
HERO: BARKY SANDERS
● ● ●
NAME: LOLA AND GATSBY
OWNER: MICHELLE WIE
POSITION: WIDE RETRIEVERS
HOW TO SPEND YOUR GOLF LEAP DAY
![img_30_3.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7ae38aae635000908de56_img_30_3.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.544.suffix/1578581720781.jpeg)
Color code your scorecard pencil collection
Rewrite the Rules of Golf in iambic pentameter
Send apology letters to all the groups you hit into the previous year
Hand-knit replica of Nick Faldo’s 1990 Masters sweater
Build TPC Sawgrass island green in a bottle
SECRET ADMIRERS OF THE PGA TOUR
![img_30_4.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7ae8c73806f00089d00d3_img_30_4.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.966.suffix/1578581776005.jpeg)
“TIGER, YOU HAVE ME SEEING SUNDAY RED.”
—A HUMBLE PATRON
![img_30_5.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7ae981e8bf800089770ba_img_30_5.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.966.suffix/1578581779754.jpeg)
“BRYSON, YOU RAISE THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE IN MY HEART.”
—A FELLOW SCIENCE LOVER
![img_30_6.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7aea053fab40008ab8464_img_30_6.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.966.suffix/1578581754093.jpeg)
“PHIL, LET’S SHARE A PHIRESIDE TOGETHER.”
—A CALF ENTHUSIAST
![img_30_7.jpg](http://golfdigest.sports.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/golfdigest/fullset/2019/12/16/5df7aea853fab40008ab8466_img_30_7.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.966.966.suffix/1578581729769.jpeg)
“HIDEKI, MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT WHEN YOU PAUSE AT THE TOP.”
—A QUICK TRANSITIONER