Stupid Golf Problems: When playing everything as a lateral hazard goes wrong
Uisup
I’ve told this story before, but as a precursor to a recent reader email, I’ll give you the SparkNotes version once more. The one and only time my 18-20-handicap brother/chopper beat me, he took one of the shadiest drops of all time during a key moment in his round. Given the fact that most of us weekend hacks play everything lateral, unless you’re playing for serious money, there really wasn’t much I could do but let him have it. Nothing makes you look like a meek little boy like suddenly going full rules hardo mid-round when you know you’re “in one” against an inferior opponent.
But, as my colleague Joel Beall pointed out in a message to me recently, there comes a point with certain playing competitors where you might have to reset the guidelines before your next round:
My usual group plays everything as a lateral hazard, but that’s become a point of contention with one guy who gets about 15 shots on the rest of us. He’s a disaster off the tee, but his approach play and short game are those of a 4- or 5-handicap. He’ll launch a drive out of bounds, then hit his third from halfway up the hole instead of having to reload from the tee. From there, he’s good enough to get around the green and salvage a 5 net 4, sometimes a 4 net 3. So, basically one or two shots better if he had to play by the rules and hit off the tee.
The feeling is that our casual agreement gives him a considerable advantage, especially when his drives are going way the f--- out of bounds. It's to the point where over the weekend one guy made the other reload and took that advantage away, he lost three drives out of bounds and ended up quitting after 11 because he felt it was unfair. Has become a big to-do at the club.
Should note this was after like three or four matches where he cleaned up because of the advantageous drops.
Ah, an all-too common problem we’ve all dealt with, especially when you’re the one, or on the team, giving a boatload of shots. You hit your sensible shot down the middle, the opponent sends one to Narnia, but because you’ve agreed to play everything lateral, they take an advantageous drop and suddenly play hero ball. You miss the green with your approach, chip on, two-putt for a bogey and you wind up losing the hole to a 5-for-4 made by someone who lost a ball on the hole. It simply doesn’t compute.
Of course, the point of “playing everything lateral” is that you want to be extended the same courtesy. What goes around comes around. The issue with that is you might only need to be extended that courtesy once a round, if at all. While someone else is taking advantage of the house rule five or six times a round. And, as Joel and his group came to find out, if you decide to totally switch up and play by the letter of the law, the person who has been taking advantage now learns what the “Rules of Golf” actually are and they don’t like it one bit. By letting them get away with it for many previous rounds, you created a monster.
Personally, I think Joel’s group handled it fine. Some people need to grow up and learn ball. Some people need to be shamed. Then again, you don’t want it to actually affect a friendship. Especially one at a club where you see this person regularly. No one needs that extra awkwardness in their lives.
With that in mind, perhaps there is some sort of compromise. My best suggestion is to introduce a new house rule where you’re only afforded one or two “lateral” drops for shots lost or hit out-of-bounds. Two tokens at the fair. This creates a strategical element to it, which everyone loves, and you can avoid losing to someone who hits six balls OB and manages to save 5-for-4 or 6-for-5 every time.
As I’ve written before, the easiest and most fair way to handle this stuff is to simply play by the rules and put the ball in the hole. But I realize we’re all dealing with different personalities, different golf courses, different egos. It is not a one size fits all when it comes to recreational golf. If it was, I’d have nothing to write about.
Do you have a "stupid" golf problem? A question you're too ashamed to ask your close friends? A conundrum that needs to be talked out in a public forum? We're here to help. If you have etiquette-related inquiries or just want to know how to handle some of the unique on- or off-course situations we all find ourselves in, please let us know. You can email me (chris.powers@wbd.com) or send me a DM on Twitter/X (@Cpowers14) or on Instagram (@cpthreeve).