This dude's name and number combination simply cannot be real (but it is)

November 05, 2020

The events of Wednesday night captivated our nation. The whole world couldn't take their eyes off of it. All of social media was talking about it, and we will be talking about it for years to come. 

MACtion. The return of MACtion. What did you think we were talking about? 

The silliness that games in this league almost always feature was on full display Wednesday. What's funny, though, is that the truly whacky stuff often occurs on the sideline, like the Buffalo player puking after a scoop and score touchdown. But our favorite moment had to be when ESPN cameras captured this name and jersey combination of one of Ohio's starting lineman, who we'd never hear or know of if it wasn't for these games being on in the middle of the week, when we're so desperate for football that we're glued to this garbage: 

Parker. Effing. Titsworth. Number 69. Redshirt freshman from Wexford, Pa. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Look at this 5-foot-11, 270-pound hogmolly: 


He's real, and he's spectacular. Don't even try to tell me for one second that he didn't take the No. 69 jersey by design. He knew what he was doing. He knew somebody would grab a screenshot on social media and he knew it would spread like wildfire. Well played, Parker, well played.