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The Loop

Which one of you sick SOBs wants to watch an innocent teddy bear get obliterated by a line drive?

August 21, 2020

Warning: Graphic stuffed animal content follows. And by graphic I mean violent...and only violent, you weirdos:

That was Arizona's Ketel Marte absolutely drilling a defenseless stuffed bear who only wanted to watch some baseball in peace. The violent snap of his neck puts him at risk for whiplash or worse, not to mention the dangers of concussion from the initial impact. But not only did the bear let the ball hit him, and not only did medical personnel fail to materialize, but his fellow bears and the Athletic players seated behind him didn't lift a finger. Soon, some heartless trolls made a gif of the tragedy:

As for the bear himself, I guess we know from his total lack of reaction that adult bears have no instinct for baseball. That shouldn't be a surprise; we've spent the last 100+ years learning the same thing about cubs.

On a serious note, major shout-out to Dallas Braden on the NBC Sports call for dropping the "unbearable" and "I can't bear to watch it" lines. They're not great puns, but they were done quickly, so he deserves a round of a-paws.