Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni compares his team to a flower in one of the worst analogies ever uttered

Back in April, we had a little fun with brand-new Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni claiming he challenged NFL Draft prospects to games of Rock, Paper, Scissors. At the time, it sounded crazy. Crazy enough to work? That remained to be seen.

To be fair, it's still too early to tell, but at 2-5 after seven games more and more Eagles fans are beginning to lean in the "this guy is crazy" camp, and by crazy we mean crazy stupid.

Sirianni has a chance to briefly quell those notions this week, as the Eagles take on the winless Detroit Lions in the Motor City. Of course, the Lions have proved to be a bit frisky, something the L.A. Rams, Minnesota Vikings and Baltimore Ravens found out firsthand. Should Philly get caught sleeping and hand Dan Campbell's Lions their first win of the season, Sirianni's seat will be third-degree burn hot, if it isn't already. 

Have no fear, Birds fans. With analogies like this one, in which Sirianni told his team they are like a flower, there is simply no chance the Eagles lose this week. Watch, and listen, closely:

If that doesn't instill confidence, I'm not sure what will. Keep watering, keep fertilizing, and eventually the flower will pop. What the F%$&?? 

We know you just watched and listened to it, but to truly appreciate the nonsensicalness Sirianni spewed, it must be read in its purest form - a transcript:

A much, much simpler way of putting it would be "do your job," something the guy up in New England has repeated for years with great success. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Instead, Eagles fans are dealing with Rock, Paper, Scissors and water and fertilizing and popping. Good news for Sirianni is that the fine folks of Philadelphia are extremely patient and understanding so he can sleep soundly tonight knowing that.