Sitting at your desk as your boss lobs passive aggressive emails at you from his mahogany-lined corner office? Glumly questioning your career path and the poisonous cloud it has cast over your entire life? Then now's probably not a good time to mention it, but Overwatch League, the new eSports league from game developer Blizzard, just announced their player compensation package and, well, it's probably better than yours.
So what do you get as a low-level competitive gamer who gets to travel America drinking Big Gulps and fragging fellow nerds for a living? How about a minimum salary of $50,000, plus health insurance, a retirement package, and variety of potential performance bonuses. In addition to the monetary compensation, teams will also provide housing and practice facilities for their players throughout the course of the season. In other words, it's pretty much like college, except they pay you to go and you no longer have to skip class in order to play video games.
But stop ugly crying in the bathroom stall, Biff. Not only does everyone know your shoes, but there's also a sliver of good news: If you have ever even accidentally played Overwatch while turning off the Xbox your ungrateful kids left on all night, Blizzard considers you a free agent. And just like any other professional sport, free agents are eligible to try out for teams during the Official Player Signing Window, which begins August 1st and continues through October 30th.
In other words, stock up on the Mountain Dew and get practicing. As long as you don't blow a knuckle ligament, you could be the next big thing...