If you thought your dad had it tough, having to walk uphill to school both ways and all, just wait, you're about to feel a whole lot worse. Not only does Colorado school district 27J have fancy schmancy buses for ferrying their students across all manner of elevation change, they are also—and this is where it gets crazy—officially eliminating Mondays and moving to a four-day school week, effective August 2018. Now if you'll excuse us, I think we need a moment...
Phew, OK. Anyway. Where we're we? Oh right, according to local sources, the school—which serves four towns in the Denver metro area—is discarding a long, proud lineage of adolescent suffering in order to increase the district's appeal to prospective teachers and students alike.
"We really feel like Monday is the day to prepare and to be better for kids," superintendent Chris Fiedler said, barely containing his excitement about the prospect of three-day weekends this fall. "This will give people a chance to have a weekend and then come in on Monday—whether they're paid to or not because they're doing that work anyway to be prepared for kids and to be better for kids."
The district estimates that the condensed week will save nearly a million dollars annually on transportation, reduced substitute teacher costs, and utilities, but it's not all good news for students and administrators. In order to make up for lost time, the district will be lengthening school days Tuesday through Friday, with elementary and kindergarten running from 7:50 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. and middle and high schools from 8:30 a.m. to 4:32 p.m.
All in all, however, that seems like a small concession for the lucky, hungry young minds at 27J, one of nearly 100 Colorado school districts to adopt the condensed school week and OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T WE MOVE THERE YEARS AGO, MOM.