If Ina Garten says it's OK to start drinking at 9 a.m., you should start drinking at 9 a.m.
If you're like me, you've likely asked yourself this question during this quarantine that's only been about two weeks but has felt like two billion weeks: what time is it OK to start drinking? Thanks to Food Network legend Ina Garten, we have our answer, and it's far earlier than you might think.
3 p.m.? No. Noon? Nope! 11 a.m., aka "the brunch hour"? Wrong again! Try 9 a.m., which is right around the time that Garten, better known as the "Barefoot Contessa" (the title of her show), posted a video of her Cosmopolitan recipe to her Instagram account. But this wasn't just any Cosmo, it was an absolutely massive one that would send even the biggest drinkers falling down the steps like Jim Lahey in that hilarious "Trailer Park Boys" clip. Watch and learn from the queen, folks:
Goodness gracious, Ina, it's only Wednesday! It is Wednesday, isn't it? Who can tell anymore.
As Katie Couric said in the comments (Katie Couric, ever heard of her?), this video was "iconic." It was like playing a game of Ina Garten bingo. Corny mom jokes: check. Two cups of "good" vodka, as opposed to bad vodka: check. Somehow knowing the exact measurements without needing any measuring cups: check. Something she freshly squeezed: check. The only thing missing is an ingredient picked from her garden followed by a "but store-bought is fine too" comment where she's low-key trashing you for having the audacity to buy something at your local Shop Rite, you peasant. What a legend. There's a reason she's on her 26th damn season of "Barefoot Contessa." A true GOAT.
Now that sports are done forever, The Loop may become strictly Ina Garten content. Just got to run it by my editors first. Will report back as soon as I can. Until then, make yourself a drink in a vat at whatever time you'd like because, as Ina said, during these times of crisis every hour is cocktail hour. Frame that quote and hang it in the Louvre.