Golf Sabbatical

How to survive the next two weeks of your life without the PGA Tour

August 27, 2019
Golfer on a Rainy Day Leaving the Golf Course

The 2019 PGA Tour season is officially a wrap. Rory McIlroy is your FedEx Cup Champ, Brooks Koepka is your Player of the Year, and everybody is off until the Military Tribute at The Greenbrier, which jumpstarts a whole new season on September 12th. Yes, you read that right. September 12th. That's a two-week golfless hole punched smack dab in the middle of your life and suddenly you're grasping for something—ANYTHING GOD HELP MEEEE—to help fill the void. So grab that paper bag, hit that CBD like Cheech and Chong, and try to relax, because we have a couple of ideas to help you not only survive, but thrive over the course of the next 14 cold, barren, golfless days.

Get out of bed

You can do it. Three, two, one...

Open the shades


Stare out the window while rain drips slowly down the pane

Remember your children’s names

Tammy...or is it Timmy?

Attempt to save your marriage

Fun Fact: 97% of all golf unions end in divorce

See the world

Walley World, that is.

Get shredded like Brad Pitt in ‘Once Upon a Time In Hollywood’

See ‘Once Upon a Time In Hollywood’ first

Gotta walk before you can run.

Watch football…

…like a disgusting amount of football

RELATED: 12 college football games to get way too excited about way too soon

Submit your book proposal on the uncontacted tribes of Amazonia

Optional: Embed with the uncontacted tribes of Amazonia.

Run naked and screaming into the eye of the hurricane clutching a nuclear warhead

Don’t worry. The President is also struggling with this transition.

Actually get out and play

Whoa hang on. Let’s not get crazy now.